Its Never Been So Hard

Thinspiration for the day:

its a tad blurry but if you click on the picture it comes our much much better and bigger

Today started off great, lots of water, only itsy bitsy porportions of fruits and a few vegitables, had a tiny bit of chicken too (had to get in the protein)and i was doing great! I had play practice and I was on a roll! But then I got a really bad headache, took a bunch of medicine, and started eating without even noticing it! and I was doing SOOO WELL! I hate it when I do something stupid like that and throw it all away! I'm telling you, I need like a constant reminder! Any Ideas?

Anyways I want to be MY BEST! That means be skinny, be confindent, get great grades, know what I'm doing in theatre (perform great), be able to handle all this stress, not get grounded, let my nails grow (i'm a CONSTANT biter...they look disgusting!), be great girlfriend, and a great friend! There's so much I want to do and want to be, I just dont know how to handle it all!

Some More About Me: I get GOOD greats, not great, but good, my average this semester was like a 90 which...could be soooo much better! especially in math and chemistry, i actually have a math test tomorrow that i'm feeling doomed for (guess who'll be up studying all nighttt!!!) I have amazing friends that are all great for sooo many different things! Theres my best friend who I can talk to about anything, my friend who's alllll about the boys, my dancer friend, my friend who has my back about ANYTHING (I mean she'll go completely out of her way to destroy a girl who so much as looks at me in a way that she doesnt find fit), my friend that knows everything, my friend that has "experience" and sooo much more! I have a boyfriend, letsss call himm....B? (sorry guys no real names except mine) but we've been dating for 2 1/2 months, hes hilarious, funny, likes great music, is fun to talk to, always himself (like he'll do the most obnoxious but still very cute things), and i really like him. Which is weird because I'm sorta a commitment phob, like i'm terrified, but not so much with him. I'd still never say I love you before 6 months (its just me) but still thats still a HUGE improvement!

Thats all for now! GTG study that stupid math!

XoXo Sophia XoXo

Begining Of My Story

I'm Sophia!

This is my online journal! It is my first one! I'm desperately trying to lose weight! My weight right now is at 130! Which is aweful since i'm at 5 foot 7! My bmi says that i'm EXACTLY normal, right inbetween actually, but I WANT to be 110! All of my friends are extreamly skinny dancers and I wish to be too!

I'm a sophmore at a highschool, all girls, borinngggg!!! I guess you could say I'm a tad boy crazy...But not really! I used to just be all over the place, new guy I liked every week, ect ect. but now I have a boyfriend who I do really like! We've been going out for 2 and 1/2 months exactly today! Yayy!

I do theatre, I'm in two plays right now! I'm in thespian club! and I just got back from an actors conference! It's not what I want to do later on in life, I'd like to go into medicine, I really just do it for fun! I would say I do it to relieve stress but really, it adds a whole lot more just because i'm always spending 5 to 6 hours of my day at rehersal, it has officially taken over my life!
I have a huge group of friends who I adore! They're amazing, but really, I have this need for everything to be perfect! I guess I have a problem with wanting people to worship me...but I deserve it!

Of course, with every all girls school you have some rather...."catty" (should be the nice word for it) girls! Now, I'm fine with that as long as they're not "catty" to me, then it evolves into an issue! The only girl who's ever done that is this one girl...she's ugly to begin with, she has a "catty" personality, and goes behind almost everyones back and lies...you can understand I dont like this, but I'm taking care of it! I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet but its going to be gooodddd! She is madly in love with my boyfriend...but its best to leave him out of this one i think, or at least make it LOOK like it! God you'd think I came out of the movie mean girls!
Off to rehersal!

I'm becoming anorexic. Its my choice, if you'd like you may leave this blog now! But its what I am! If you would like an ana buddy leave a post with you email and i'll email you!

XoXo Sophia XoXo